Revenge of the Space Pandas
(or Binky Rudich and the Two-Speed Clock)
by David Mamet
Directed by Madeline DeCourcey
Binky Rudich, his friend Viv, and his almost human sheep Bob tinker with a two-speed clock with the idea that, as Binky says, "Time on Earth moves at the same speed all the time, but there is another speed, a slower speed, and if we could find it, everything would stand still on Earth and we would spin off." And they do! To Crestview, Fourth World in the Goolagong System, which is ruled by George Topax and guarded by the Great Space Pandas. When Supreme Ruler Topax commands that Bob be brought to him, never again to leave Goolagong, and steals the two-speed clock just to make sure, the excitement multiplies. Only a playwright like Mamet could produce such an insane comedy!
February 28, 29, March 5, 6, 7, 12, 13, 14, 15 at 7:30
March 1, 8, 15 at 2:00
*Ages and gender for characters marked with an asterix are flexible
Leonard (Binky) Rudich - a 12-year-old “scientist” (10-12)
Vivian Mooster - Binky’s neighbor and classmate (10-12)
Bob - a sheep (30s+)
Mrs. Rudich - Binky’s mother (30s+)
George Topax - Supreme Ruler of Crestview (30s+, disco dancing experience a plus)
Edward Farpis - ex-matinee idol/derelict/impersonates Space Panda Colonel Lazlo Drurik (60s+)
*Court Jester - (sings and speaks) (age open)
*Retainer (“Hank”) - accompanies George Topax (30s+)
*Panda 1 (“Buffy”) - Space Panda on Crestview (18+)
*Panda 2 (“Boots”) - Space Panda on Crestview (18+)
*Newsperson (“Bill”) - (20s+)
*Executioner - (20s+)
*Non-Speaking Offstage/Onstage Assistant
*Non-Speaking Citizens and Space Pandas
Auditions will be December 9th and 10th from 6:30 - 8:00PM at Barnstormers Theatre.
Auditions will consist of cold reading from the script and a small amount of disco dance movement. Plan to stay as long as needed by the director. Let us know of any time constraints upon arrival.
The Lion in Winter
By James Goldman
Directed by Rachel Kostrna
Betrayal, treachery, and a sword fight: it’s just another normal Christmas celebration for the royal Plantagenet family of Britain. In The Lion in Winter, King Henry II gathers his family together for a Christmas feast. Henry’s three plotting sons, each eager to take the throne, and Henry’s manipulative wife Eleanor of Aquitaine, newly released from house arrest (after raising an army against Henry) all manipulate, backstab, and squabble over who will be the next king. Eleanor and Henry use their offspring, lovers, and the French King Philip II as pawns against each other in a dangerous game for the throne.
Performance dates are April 10, 11, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 25 at 7:30 and April 12, 19, 26 at 2:00
Henry II: (50+) The king of England, Henry is the husband of Eleanor of Aquitaine and the father of Richard, Geoffrey, and John. He also has taken Alais Capet as his mistress. In his fifties, Henry is nearing the years when most men of that age died; however, he still has remarkable vigor and wit, as well as physical prowess. His clear favorite for his successor is his son John, but his main desire is to keep his kingdom together after
Eleanor of Aquitaine: (60+) The wife of Henry II and mother of Richard, Geoffrey, and John, Eleanor is a strong and powerful woman. She has been a queen of international importance for 46 years and you know it. A genuinely feminine woman thoroughly capable of holding her own in a man’s world, she is a danger to Henry because of her strength and intelligence. She champions the fight for Richard to be the next king.
Richard: (25-30) The oldest of the three sons of Henry and Eleanor, Richard in later life becomes known as Richard the Lion Heart. He is his mother's choice for the next king, and is the best warrior of the three sons.
Geoffrey: (20-25) The middle son of Henry and Eleanor, Geoffrey is a man of energy and verve. He is attractive, charming, and the owner of the best brain in a brainy family. He has no one fighting for his right to any throne. A Machiavellian machine of a man whose bitterness over not being a favored child, is masked by an icy wit and wry smile.
John: (15-19) The youngest of the three sons of Henry and Eleanor, John is described as a pimply and immature boy. Though he is often made sport of by his mother and older brothers, he is actually quite intelligent. John is also his father's choice for the crown, and he uses this knowledge to taunt his two brothers.
Alais Capet: (22-27) The sister of Philip Capet, Alais is of the royal blood of France and would thus, through a contracted marriage with Richard, ally the two strong countries of France and England. She was raised as a child by Eleanor, and is the mistress of Henry. She is no less a pawn in the machinations of Henry and Eleanor than are their sons.
Philip Capet: (17-20) The king of France, Philip is also the brother of Alais. He is young, but has already become a strong monarch, although no match for Henry. His desire is to marry Alais to Richard and have Richard crowned king, thus cementing a relationship between the two countries.
Auditions will be February 3rd and 4th from 6:00-9:00 at Barnstormers Theater. Auditioners will meet and fill out paperwork in the theater, with auditions happening individually in the green room. Please audition with one memorized monologue from the selection below.
“My life, when it is written, will read better than it lived. Henry Fitz-Empress, first Plantagenet, a king at twenty-one, the ablest soldier of an able time. He led men well, he cared for justice when he could and ruled, for thirty years, a state as great as Charlemagne’s. He married, out of love, a woman out of legend. Not in
Alexandria or Rome or Camelot has there been such a queen. She bore him many children-but no sons. King Henry had no sons. He had three whiskered things but he disowned them. You’re not mine. We’re not connected. I deny you. None of you will get my crown. I leave you nothing and I wish you plague. May all your children breech and die. My boys are gone. I’ve lost my boys. (glaring up ) You dare to damn me, do you?
Well, I damn you back. God damn you. All my boys are gone. I’ve lost my boys. Oh Jesus, all my boys.”
Eleanor of Aquitaine
“Well, Geoffrey. He’s made a pact with Philip. You advised John into making war. That peerless boy; he’s disinherited himself. When Henry finds out, when I tell him what John’s done - I need a little time. Can you keep John away from Philip till I say so? ( Geoff exits ) ( To Richard ) I want you out of here before this breaks. And that needs Philip. He has soldiers with him if he’ll use them. Go to him, be desperate, promise anything: the Vexin, Brittany. Then once you’re free and John is out of favor, we’ll make further plans. Quickly now. And, Richard. Promise anything. ( He exits ) I haven’t lost, it isn’t over. Oh, I’ve got the old man this time. The damn fool thinks he loves John, he believes it. That’s where the knife goes in. Knives, knives . . . it was a fine thought, wasn’t it? Oh, Henry we have done a big thing badly. Where’s that mirror? I am Eleanor and I can look at anything. My, what a lovely girl. How could her king have left her?”
“Poor John-who says poor John? Don’t everybody sob at once. My God, if I went up in flames, there’s not a living soul who’d pee on me to put the fire out. (about Richard ) He hates me. Why? What should he hate me for? Am I the eldest son? Am I the heir? Am I the hero? What’s my crime? Is it some childhood score, some baby hurt? When I was six and you were sixteen, did I brutalize you? What? You’re everything a little brother dreams of. You know that? I used to dream about you all the time.” Geoffrey
“No one ever thinks of crowns and mentions Geoff. Why is that? I make out three prizes here-a throne, a princess and the Aquitaine. Three prizes and three sons; but no one ever says, “Here, Geoff, here Geoff boy, here’s a bone for you.” It isn’t power that I feel deprived of; it’s the mention that I miss. There’s no affection for me here. You wouldn’t think I’d want that, would you?”
“One time, when I was very small, I watched some soldiers take their dinner pig and truss it up and put the thing, alive and kicking, on the fire. That’s the sound I’m going to hear from you. You - you made my father nothing. You were always better. You bullied him, you bellied with his wife, you beat him down in every war, you twisted every treaty, you played mock-the-monk and then you made him love you for it. I was there: his
last words went to you. I learned how much fathers live in sons. A king like you has policy prepared on everything. What’s the official line on sodomy? How stands the Crown on boys who do with boys? He found me first when I was fifteen. We were hunting. It was nearly dark. I lost my way. My horse fell. I was thrown. I woke to Richard touching me. He asked me if I loved him - Philip, do you love me? - and I told him yes. You know why I told him yes? So one day I could tell you all about it. You cannot imagine what that yes cost. Or perhaps you can. Imagine snuggling to a chanced whore and, bending back your lips in something like a smile, saying, “Yes I love you and I find you beautiful.” I don’t know how I did it.”
“Where do you think I learned this from? Who do you think I studied under? How old was I when you fought with Henry first? How many battles did I watch? I’ve never heard a corpse ask how it got so cold. You’ve got a mind: you tell me, what was on it when you had your soldiers point their crossbows at him? The only thing you want to see is Father’s vitals on a bed of lettuce. You don’t care who wins as long as Henry loses. You’d
see Philip on the throne. You’d feed us to the Franks or hand us to the Holy Romans. You’d do anything. You are Medea to the teeth but this is one son you won’t use for vengeance on your husband.”
"Henry, I was brought up to be dutiful. I smile a lot, bend easily and hope for very little. It is useful training and it’s made a lot of hard things possible. But, Henry, not this thing. When I was sixteen and we started this depraved relationship, I left everything to you. I lap sat, drank my milk and did what I was told. Not any more. Your cherub’s twenty-three now and she’s going to fight with anything that she can think of. I haven’t got a
thing to lose: that makes me dangerous.”
The Sunshine Boys
by Neil Simon
Directed by Robert Pyle
Al Lewis and Willie Clark were top-billed vaudevillians for decades. Despite their celebrated reputation, the two old men have not spoken to each other in many years. When CBS requests them for a “History of Comedy” retrospective, a grudging reunion brings the two back together, along with a flood of memories, miseries, and laughs. In addition to reworking their most famous skit, Al and Willie have more than a few conflicts to resolve before they are ready to return to the public eye.
Performance dates are May 29, 30, June 4, 5, 6, 11,12,13 at 7:30 and May 31, June 7, 14 at 2:00.
Willie Clark - casting actor that can play 70 plus years, Al's old comedy partner, very forgetful.
Al Lewis - casting actor that can play 65-70 years old plus, Willie's old comedy partner, soft spoken.
Ben Silverman - casting actor that can play 30-40 years old, Willie's nephew who is also Willie's agent. Very concerning take care of his uncle but can be very assertive.
Nurse - can play 30-65 years old. Cares for Willie in second act. Flirtatious, and a very sweet personality
Patient - age can very, can be played by male or female. Character in medical sketch.
Eddie - can play age 25 plus, Producer for CBS television studio.
Auditions will be March 30 & 31, 6:30 – 9:00 at Barnstormers Theater and will consist of readings from the script. Sides will be available at the box office prior to auditions. No monologues needed but we will listen if you have one prepared.